


I'll Catch You As I'm Falling

by orphan_account



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Angst, Destiel - Freeform, Hurt/Comfort, Kidnapping, M/M, Sacrifice, human!Cas, so I'm debating a sequel
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-05-12
Updated: 2014-05-11
Packaged: 2018-01-24 10:29:37
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 5,544
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1601615
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>He’s stealing the Impala. </p><p>God help him if he finds Dean. <em>Not if</em>, he corrects himself, <em>when</em>. Because Cas is willing to do <em>anything</em> to get Dean back, whether it be from the demons or from hell or from heaven he would have Dean here with Sam and Bobby and the world. Dean would be driving this car home by the end of this journey. </p><p>Cas just wishes he could say the same for himself.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Everything Burns

**Author's Note:**

> IMPORTANT
> 
> BOBBY SINGER IS ALIVE
> 
> disclaimer: in this story, and unfortunately not in the canon of which I have no control over.

*****

 

Castiel had never felt more absolutely helpless than now, not in all his thousands of years.

The last six months had held a lot of firsts for Cas; first trip to the laundromat, first trip to the bathroom. First common cold, first kiss, first boyfriend. First time baking an apple pie. And the first time in a long time that he was absolutely powerless. Not even when he had been falling around the time Sam said 'yes' to Lucifer had he been this weak. Well, perhaps weak wasn't the word for it. It was more lost.

The first couple of hunts Sam and Dean had taken him on had been an absolute nightmare. Screaming spirits, angry demons, cannibalistic wendigos that Cas could have once snapped his fingers and killed. And now? Now he could jam the gun by accident or throw Dean sugar rather than salt or get himself taken hostage. And every time Sam and Dean would save him, every time Sam would look at him with puppy eyes and pity and Dean, Dean every time would correct his mistakes and hold him at night and act like he wasn't a liability to them all.

He was useless now.

Useless, and one day he would get them killed. One day they might look up from a fresh grave and realize that he wasn't worth all the trouble. One day something might take Cas and they wouldn't come back for him.

Today would not be that day.

"Dammit Cas!" Dean yells and then the gun is taken out of his hand and Dean is blowing holes in the mass of demons and Sam is spraying holy water everywhere but there are so many of them and Cas is completely defenseless, so helpless. Everything is burning.

This is especially frustrating since the demons had been after him all along.

The knife had been bait, and now they were surrounded by a swarm.

"Cas, the knife," Sam gasps and then he's coughing because there is fire everywhere and it is all Cas can do to not double over and let the smoke have him. Instead he crawls towards the exorcised and decidedly dead vessel of a demon and grabs at the knife while somebody, something is grabbing his legs and Cas is absolutely swamped with the still unfamiliar sensation of breathlessness and pain and sweat and fear.

He grabs the knife by the blade and rips free of the demon who's trying to drag him away just to feel new arms grab his own and heave him forward. It's only when they are out and gasping on the grass that he realizes that it was Sam.  
Sam, and not Dean. Sam, who wasn't with Dean, and Castiel can feel his heart dropping out from under his feet and into hell. Sam's face next to him seems to mirror the sensation, and suddenly they're both tripping over their feet and screaming for Dean.

It's no surprise to Cas that when they manage to calm the fire, the demons and Dean are long gone.

Cas doesn't even notice as he falls to the ground, not this time. There's just the burning embers and smoke and then an endless expanse of night.

*****

When Cas wakes up its to the familiar sensation of way-too-much-everything, his head feeling like its going to turn to mush. For a moment he's confused, his mind blank and idle, but then he sees Sam's worried face above his and he sees the very prominent spot where Dean was supposed to be and it all comes rushing back so fast Cas feels like the breath has been knocked out of him.

"Dean," he whispers and Sam's face crumples into something akin to a lost, kicked puppy.

"Demons took him," comes a gruff voice from the corner and Bobby Singer is staring at him with hard eyes, putting down the phone. Cas's face must have caved into a tenth of what he was feeling inside because the old man's expression softens and he adds, "He's not dead. Just got a call from one of my psychics and apparently they're holding him hostage for—Cas what the hell are you doing boy?"

Cas has made it to the doorframe of the bedroom he's in, and sags against the wall. He will make it to the door. He will find Dean and apologize and then leave before he can do anymore damage. Sam drags him back to bed before Cas's messed up brain can even comprehend it.

Bobby rolls his eyes in annoyance. "They're holding him hostage for you boy. So ya gotta rest till we figure out a game plan."

Sam sighs. "Dude, you have a minor concussion. Take it easy, okay? And don't move your hand."

Castiel looks down at his palms and realizes his right hand is heavily bandaged. The knife, he remembers. The concussion explains why his head is waging a civil war.

It doesn't matter, he thinks, even while letting Sam push his shoulders back not the pillow. I will save Dean again. Whatever it takes.

*****

Fuzzy.

That’s how the world is when Cas wakes up again, everything soft edges and blurry, the colors blending and bleeding into each other. He doesn’t have a moment where he remembers what happened to Dean because he never forgot, even while surrendering to his subconsciousness.  
Bobby’s house is dead silent for once, and everything is in varying shades of darkness so he guesses that its some insane hour of the morning.

Perfect.

His vision clearing, Castiel stumbles out of the bed, dragging the sheet halfway off the bed with him. His own gear is in a duffle by the door; more knives than guns since, even though he can’t shoot a bird for his life, Castiel has been wielding daggers since the dark ages and its probably the only thing he’s good for as a hunter.

The pounding headache is gone and his hand, well, an injury as small as a cut never stopped Dean.

He shoulders the duffle bag and finds the knife on Bobby’s desk. An obnoxious snore interrupts his progress to the door.  
His heart is pounding so hard and loud Castiel is amazed it hasn’t woken up the sleeping Sam he finds stationed by the door. The clock says its 3:14 am at the moment and Castiel silently thanks his internal clock while he snags the keys and slips out the door.

He’s stealing the Impala.

God help him if he finds Dean. Not if, he corrects himself, when. Because Cas is willing to do anything to get Dean back, whether it be from the demons or from hell or from heaven he would have Dean here with Sam and Bobby and the world. Dean would be driving this car home by the end of this journey.

Cas just wishes he could say the same for himself.


	2. Demons and Roads

Driving in the Impala is as close to Dean as one can get without him, and Cas feels peace and a vast abyss of sadness warring for dominance in his mind as he makes his way up the highway.

He can imagine him, sitting where he is and listening to his rock music, singing maybe, or tapping his fingers on the wheel. The car still smells so very much like Dean; whiskey and car oil and Old Spice and something else that was probably the man himself. He misses him so much it's like he's lost a limb (or perhaps more accurately a vital organ).

Cas's heading back to house where it all went down, where everything burned and Dean was taken. It’s an abandoned barn in the middle of Ohio, although it seems like the middle of nowhere. He ignores the small voice in his head commenting on how a barn was where they first met; how poetic was it that it would be the last?

Sometimes Castiel wishes he weren't alive.

It's been happening more often lately, after every close call and every failed mission but now, now here was the proof that every time Dean had said that Cas was needed, important, integral in their little Team Free Will, it had been a mistaken sentiment.

If Cas had just died like a normal person–angel–whichever, this would never have come to pass. The demons had been after him (everyone was after him these day it seemed) and now Dean was bait. Castiel would have just marched into wherever they had him and offered himself up, but he had no guarantee that they would give Dean back.

That would be a last resort, he decides. When all else fails.

****************

 _"When all else fails" is supposed to come a little later, right?_ Cas thinks as he steps around the ashes of the burned down barn. Barely anything is left unscorched, which is why the patchy leather jacket lying pointedly in the middle of the wreckage stands out even more.

He swallows down a sudden wave of guilt and remorse as he picks it up and dusts off the ash. The demons had planted it there, knowing he would return. Cas clutches it to his chest, sweeps his gaze around the area and walks briskly back to the Impala.

The demons could have captured him right then and there. Why hold back? Why take Dean and specifically ask for Castiel as ransom? 

Perhaps these demons weren't only after his ex-angel status.

It's only once he's inside the car that he realizes that he's breathing hard, gripping Dean's jacket against his chest like its a life vest and he’s drowning. The slightest move of his hand to turn the keys makes something inside the jacket crinkle.

Cas unfolds it almost reverently, carefully. Inside is a map, and a red circle is marking a place that causes a shiver to run up and down his spine. He recalls his thoughts from only moments ago, and then he _hates_ , actively hates these demons for not having even the decency to kill them in a place that wasn't, in his mind, sacred.

It's the barn where Dean and Cas first physically met. It's the stupid barn covered in useless symbols where Dean tried to kill Cas and Cas accused Dean of having no faith and its the place where it all began.

Castiel isn't exactly sure what 'it' was. It could have been as simple as their relationship or as big as the falling the angels. Either way, he knows it’s where they’re holding Dean. And he's almost completely sure that the smeared red circle is in Dean's own blood.

It’s already mid afternoon by now and despite the half day head start he has on Bobby and Sam they are more than capable of catching up to him. They've already realized he's gone by now, and are no doubt about to come after him. He has to keep moving.

The sad thing is Castiel is still unequivocally lost, even more so now without Dean. The world feels like such a lonely place, and he has no idea what to do, where to turn. He feels about as empty as the road before and behind him, although it calms him down, reminds him of Dean, perpetually driving the roads both down here and in the next life.

 _Heaven._ It's a place he doubts he'll see for a while.

Cas blinks several times. He has to focus on the demons, but the burned down barn had turned out to be a dead end unless he wants to kill them both by surrendering.

There are other ways to find information. 

Despite the truth being that Castiel is a terrible hunter, he's still ex-angel-of-the-lord. He can hold his own against a demon; it's when they start outnumbering him that guns start getting jammed and people start dying.

Castiel finds an unobtrusive field and drives the Impala right off the road, sun bleached grass brushing all the way up to the car door handle. It's almost dark now, the sun low in a clear sky.

Everything he needs to summon a demon is found in the trunk of the car.

Cas drops down the supplies in a dirt clearing in the field and gets to work, drawing down chalk lines. At the end of each point he sets a candle and lights it; hands trying not to tremble as the cold and fatigue set in. The bowl of herbs goes next to the glowing constellation of candles. He takes out the silver switchblade Dean gave him a month after he fell (a week after they had first kissed), when they had started training him to be a hunter.

_"Dean, why would I need this?"_

_"Because Cas, right now anything and everything supernatural is after your ass and I'm not losing you again."_

Holding his hand over the bowl he makes a steady cut across his left palm, dripping the blood into the herbs, chanting, "Et ad congregandum / Eos coram me,"

Dropping the knife, he throws a lighted matchstick into the side of the bowl. The candles flare, fire shooting up and then dimming almost as quickly, leaving only a smoky scent behind. Everything is silent, not even the crickets are chirping, and the sun has set under the horizon.

When the demon comes Cas is ready, throwing a bag with an inscribed Devil's trap over its head and pushing it into the middle of an even larger one on the ground as the demon screams in outrage and tries to throw him against the Impala.

Castiel heaves a jug of holy water at the demon and it screams. It's possessing somebody that's probably a waitress; looking in her twenties with dark brown hair and a pocketed apron around her waist for carrying bills and orders. The demon's already managed to tear off the devil's trap bag; now it's just fuming and powerless in the midst of the one it's standing on in the grass.

"What do you want with Dean? With me?" Castiel asks, his voice rough.

The demon sneers. "I could ask you the same."

"Answer me right now or I will exorcise your ass back into hell," Cas injects. There's no time to waste bantering with a demon.

"Been there done that," she sneers, eyes turning completely black.

Castiel isn't wasting any time

_"Exorcizamus te, omnis immundus spiritus_

_omnis satanica potestas, omnis incursio_

_infernalis adversarii, omnis legio,_

_omnis congregatio et secta diabolica._

_Ergo draco maledicte_

_et omnis legio diabolica_

_adjuramus te._

_Cessa decipere humanas creaturas,_

_eisque aeternae Perditionis venenum propinare..."_

The demon makes it to _"nobis sancto et terribili nomine,"_ before it breaks.

"Okay!" she screams in the middle of being yanked around the trap by the spell. "They're... They have a spell, to summon all the fallen angels, but they... they need you to finish it..." she doubles over in a hacking cough.

"Why?" Castiel asks, and he's quite sure she isn't capable of lying at this point. "Why take Dean and ask for my ransom? Why not just kidnap me?"

When the demon remains silent, he raises the spell book and says, _"quem inferi tremunt..."_

"Permission!" she wails. "They need your consent for the spell. They need you to do it willingly..."

_"...angelum concidit sanguinem vitamque qui portabant amoris gratiam hominis,"_

Castiel finishes the exorcism and then sinks to the ground with a groan before calling an ambulance for the poor possessed girl.

By the time it arrives he's long gone, on the road, thinking of how much more fucked up this situation is now and why everything seems to come back to his love for a human.

_the blood and life of the fallen angel_

_who's grace bore the love for a human_

Why couldn't he catch a break? Why was it the moment he had managed to be at least a little happy, with Dean and Bobby and Sam (but mostly Dean), something like this had to surface?

This spell that the demons had gotten a hold of... Oh god it would enable them to capture all of the fallen angels, to torture them for information, like they had wanted to do with Cas...

And they had Dean which basically made the possibility for this spell to happen very high. Because no matter how wrong it was, or how important it was, Castiel hadn't been lying when he'd said he valued Dean over the life of his own garrison; if it came down to a choice... well, was there even a choice to begin with?

Unless... Unless...

His musings are interrupted by two very prominent headlights coming fast towards him from behind. More importantly they belonged to a truck, Bobby's truck to be exact, which meant that Cas had seriously underestimated their tracking skills. Rather than try and start a futile car chase with Dean's beloved Impala, Castiel pulls over on the side of the road and rolls down the window while two car doors slam shut. Moments later an angry looking Bobby and an equally frustrated (although he looks more like a kicked puppy) Sam are blocking his window.

Sam yells, "What the hell, man?"

At the exact moment Bobby shouts, "Are you trying to kill yourself boy?"

And it would have been comical had they not looked like they were close to salting and burning him alive.

"I'm sorry," he says, because he can't think of anything else to say. He holds up Dean's jacket. "But you have to listen. I know where Dean is. I know what's going on."

 

************

 

Three hours and a couple beers later Castiel could finally explain what he had discovered, though Bobby explodes once again when he recounts summoning and interrogating the demon.

"You did this alone? Do you know what could have happened?"

Sam cuts off his ranting with a question. "Wait, they need you to willingly sacrifice yourself for this spell and... They're using Dean to get to you?"

Cas nods grimly and stares down at the bottle he's clutching in his hands. Barely an inch of it has been downed; it doesn't feel right to drink and relax while Dean is out there somewhere in the hands of demons.

"I'm afraid if given the choice I would chose Dean over all the fallen angels," Cas admits. "Neither can happen,"

Bobby has the same expression on his face that he wore when he learned that the apocalypse was going down, a kind of frustrated, "Well, shit." expression.

"We need to get Dean out then," Sam says immediately.

"It's not as simple as that," Bobby mutters. "You heard him; the demons are done with the spell, the only missing piece is Cas. They won't stop. It'll be like the angels trying to convince you and Dean to say "yes" again only with a lot more of a shittier outcome and no more rules to follow, no more distractions from the goal. Think about it this way," and he’s speaking directly to Sam. “All the seals are broken and Cas is the last one.”

Castiel nods because the metaphor is perfect and Sam sinks back in his seat. "We still have to get the Dean out," he grumbles.

"Agreed," Cas nods.

"But then how are we supposed to stop the demons from coming for Cas again?"

Even Bobby doesn't have an answer for this but for once Cas does. And they aren't going to like it at all.

He sighs and puts down the bottle, trying to level Sam's gaze like he used to do with Dean when he had to get a point across.

"We're going to save Dean from the demons, and then I'll surrender myself to the fallen angels who want me dead."

The response is immediate; both men slam their beer bottles down on table so hard people glance over.

"What the living hell, Cas!" Sam hisses. "Why–why in the world, would you do that?"

"You know why, Sam." Cas sighs, running a hand through his already disheveled hair. He probably should have kept his mouth shut. "You heard Bobby, they will never give up. And I've..." he looks at the both of them, so fiercely loyal. They'll kill themselves trying to keep him alive. "I've been a liability to you all. I always knew that someday something like this would happen and I will not be responsible for anyone dying or getting kidnapped or hurt... I'm sorry Sam. I'm so, so sorry for getting Dean taken but... We have no choice."

There is silence for a minute, while Cas stares down at his dejected beer bottle and Sam stares at Bobby, willing him to say something. The bar is still loud and raucous; flaring lights and moving bodies and chatter, but it seems as if their little bar table has floated away and they're apart from it all.

Sam finally breaks the silence. "Look Cas, I know you think there's no other way. But if you think that I'll let a friend, no, a brother go to his death then you don’t know me at all."

It's a bittersweet feeling; warmth filling Cas at being called a brother even while a deep sadness sets in. It's hopeless, and he knows the old man can see it too, from the way he tips his head at him as if the gesture is an apology.

Bobby sighs. "Let's focus gettin' Dean back before we talk about handing over you to the goddamn falling angels. Maybe he can knock some sense into ya."


	3. On The Way Down

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am so sorry.

The plan they have is not exactly a plan as it is an act of desperation, in Castiel's opinion.

Bobby has drawn up a battle diagram; Castiel is to be armed with a holy water sprayer and the demon-slaying knife; salt rounds for him and Sam. Observation and a few visits to some legitimate psychics yields that there are nine demons in the area, four on each side of the barn, three surrounding Dean who is held inside, and one at the entrance. 

The back door (the one that Cas had burst through the first time they had been there, lightning a holy wrath blazing) would be where Castiel would come through again, after killing the demon guarding that door. Sam would drop through the venting opening on the barn roof. Bobby would come through the front.

Cas remembered their visit to the psychic, the one who had yielded most of the information.

"Bobby, I'm warning you, whatever your trying to do, don't do it."

She had been a small, mousy haired women with owlish eyes and glasses that made them even larger. She seemed to know what she was doing. 

"These eight demons, they're nothing; normal, low class demons. But the ninth one... He's a monster, Bobby Singer, and you listen to me when I say he is not the kind you hunt. He's powerful, too powerful, and three humans won't be enough."

Bobby had looked at her, more apologetic than frank. "Two humans and an angel. Thanks for the info."

 

They left soon after that, driving straight for the barn.

They were still driving, and Cas was in the back, stuffing a bag full of herbs into his pocket.

It would be his job to free Dean. Inside his jacket (Dean's jacket) there's even a salt coated knife and a gun when he rescues him so he can fight as well. And if he fails... Well, there are always crossroad demons. 

By the time the Impala brakes at the side of the road it's twilight, and he can dimly see the silver barn in the distance. They get out of the car and slam the doors; stealth is an impossibility as the demons would have smelled them from miles away, their egos would have them at a confrontation with them either way.

They walk with a meter between each other and everything is still, no breeze, no animals, nothing. It's eerie but expected. Two hundred meters from the barn Sam trips over and Bobby and Cas stop short and drop into fighting stance while Sam gets up and does the same. Except, it's not a demon or a monster; Sam tripped on six inch wide trench.

Castiel’s heart is pounding now.

He dips a finger in the muggy liquid filling the trench and then recoils out of habit. "Holy oil," he hisses, and sure enough there is a trench encircling the entire barn, the world's largest angel trap, ready to light up.

A hundred meters from the barn they meet another circle, resulting in the synchronized muttering of,

"Balls,"

"Shit,"

And from Cas, "God, no."

Despite the darkness, the symbol is unmistakable. It's a giant angel summoning sigil, also encircling the barn. A variation of the smaller scale version, but it's purpose is clear. A scorched line of black earth rings around the building with a charred 'X' across the middle. Enochian symbols are arranged accordingly in each quarter of the circle, and on each outer end of the lines. The barn holding Dean sits right in the center

Castiel can feel the thrum of power, remnants of his old celestial self recognizing the sheer size of this spell. It strikes a fear in him that’s almost stronger than the thought of losing Dean.

It would summon every fallen angel. Castiel has no doubt about it.

They split up at the charred circle line, Cas heading right for the back, Sam straight for the side, Bobby to the left for the front. The demon on the far side will either come for Bobby or Cas. Bobby is to make noise, attract this second demon, so Cas will be able to make it in for Dean. And then...

And then Castiel would just have to handle the five demons inside until they could make it in after killing the three others. 

There's no demon visible as he approaches the back of the barn, the glaring spotlight outside illuminating only the dirt path and rusty doors. He didn't expect for there to be. Out of centuries of practice Castiel turns and slashes the demon-slaying knife across the throat of the demon behind him. The wound glows orange and sparks weakly before the demon, inhabiting what looked like a grocery store clerk, keels over, dead.

Not that Cas sees it fall over. He'd already run to the back door of the barn, flinging it open even more violently than when he had been an angel and bursting onto a scene that looked right out of one of the cheap horror flicks the motels often offered for entertainment.

The first thing he felt was the heat; it blasted him like a shock wave seconds before he could comprehend the roaring fire coming from a giant bronze bowl, the world's rarest herbs no doubt feeding the flames. Cas can feel the thrum of power; the circle's center is the bowl.

The barn is the same as he remembers, except all the symbols have been scrubbed away.

A couple meters in front of the roaring fire there's a dirty, T-shirt clad figure slumping over a chair. When Dean looks up at the intruder groggily, Castiel almost fails to kill the demon coming at his right before breaking eye contact and going for the one on the left.

This one manages to slam him into the wall before Cas stabs it right in the heart.

He turns, hoping to see the other three dead, hoping to see Sam and Bobby's faces behind the fire but there is nothing but more demons; at least five more than the proposed three left. Castiel slashes and kills another demon even while two more shove him into a corner of the barn; Dean seems completely lucid now, screaming words at Cas that he can't here because there is chaos everywhere, eyes wild and fearful. The fear seems to translate straight into Castiel. Is something coming after Dean? Why does he look so scared?

Why are there so many demons?

Before Cas can figure anything out his vision is completely obscured by the onslaught of demons. The knife is knocked from his hands; multiple demons kick into him, hard, and Cas finds himself being dragged to the center, where the burning bowl makes him feel like he's being cooked alive.

Suddenly there are only two demons restraining him by both arms; all the rest of them seemed to have just disappeared although, he realizes as fear grips him, they've probably just gone outside to take on Sam and Bobby. Now there are only three demons inside. The vessels of the two demons restraining him must have been bodybuilders while Jimmy Novak had been a slightly built family man. Castiel realizes struggling is pointless.

He's forced down on his knees, and the third demon tilts his chin up by sliding an angel blade under it, at his throat, despite the fact that any old blade could kill him now.

From this position Castiel suddenly realizes that he's mere feet from Dean, almost at eye level. Dean's hair is a mess, and there's dried blood on the side of his face, but his eyes are bright and crazed. It takes a second for Cas to realize what he's saying.

"Dammit Cas, why the hell did you come for me? Of all the stupid things to do— do you know what their planning—Cas!"

"I'm sorry Dean," he gasps as the blade seems to dig deeper into his skin. The third demon, the one about to slit his throat, is the one they were warned about he guesses. The crazy powerful one. He bends down in from of Castiel, in the form of someone who could have been a Wall Street entrepreneur, and his eyes are the swirling orange of the flames. His grey suit is splashed with blood.

"Look at the two lovebirds," he croons, grabbing Cas by the lapels and throwing him into Dean so that he collapses into him, his head leaning on one of his knees. For a moment it doesn't even seem to matter that they’re in the clutches of demons; he's so close to Dean again, who’s whispering worried words into his ear. 

Cas almost wants to cry out when he's ripped away again, into the clutches of the demons once more. Except this time it's worse, this time, the fiery-eyed demon has Dean in its clutches.

A slash to the chest, making deep red blood soak his ACDC T-shirt.

Another cut, right where the line of his left collarbone would be.

Dean makes the worst sounds, the small noises of someone who is just dying to let out _screams._

Cas is aware that he's screaming, or more accurately choking at them to stop, please, no, and it's when the fire-eyed demon pulls Dean's head back by the hair and makes to slit his throat that Castiel breaks completely.

"Fine," he cries, and it sounds desperate, pained. "I'll do whatever you want, just stop, spare him..."

The demon lets go of Dean immediately, walking straight up to Cas and bending down, wrenching his face up by the chin so Castiel has to stare right into those hell fire eyes.

"You will take this knife," the demon says slowly, waving the angel blade, as if Cas will have a hard time understanding. He can dimly hear Dean gasping something to him. "Stand by the basin, and stab yourself. And then," the demon smiles, ", and then you will sacrifice yourself into the flames. Failing this, I'll be over here," he moves next to Dean. " with your lover."

"Cas, no," Dean groans, even as Castiel stands and takes the blade, turning to the bronze bowl and stepping forward, feeling the flames inches away from his body, the unbearable heat. The two other demons are visible through the fire, watching, making sure he does what he's told.

Castiel grips the shining angel blade with both hands, aware that he’s shaking, hands trembling as they turn the blade in on himself. It feels so familiar in a sick, sinking way. Behind him Dean is yelling things, screaming, and its all the incentive he needs to plunge the knife straight into his abdomen, buried so deep his hands are able to slide right up to his jacket pockets.

They fumble, pain and shock making him bow down towards the fire, and then throw a bag into the flames.

The demons are shocked for a second, confused at what he’s done, and then a shock wave pulses out from within the basin.  
Screams fill the air, anguished and horrible.

The demons are gone, completely obliterated. Its the same spell that the pastor had used against Crowley’s demons.

Cas turns and picks up the knife the fiery eyed demon had been carrying, using it to saw off the ropes binding Dean to the chair. He isn’t seeing straight; everything is fuzzy and there’s a dull, burning pain in his stomach. He can hear Dean talking to him, hears the desperate tone and feel the arms grasping his shoulders. He feels safe now, because Dean is here and he’s okay and now its alright to just _let go._

Cas doesn’t believe for a moment that he’ll hit the ground, even as the darkness finally closes in, and he falls.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading :)  
> feel (very) free to leave feedback!  
> I'm not sure if I should write a sequel or what.  
> Suggestions?


End file.
